Flying Solo

day 3 yall.  day 3 flying solo. and i'm good.  i'm really good.

we finally slept last night like a "happiest baby on the block" baby.  sunday night and monday night ella decided she didn't want to sleep.  it wasn't fun.  sleep deprivation and me are not friends.  but yesterday ella found her voice.  and she is not afraid to use it.  she was awake and fussy.  a crying newborn makes me feel so uncomfortable. you know when you don't know what is wrong...  clean diaper - check.  full belly - check.  swaddled, pacifier, swing - check.  and still fussing... oh nooo.  makes you feel sooo uneasy.  i hate that sound.  so anyway, she cried yesterday and then slept all night.   today she is easy and happy again.

even though this is my second go 'round i am still googling at least 4 questions a day about newborns.  ha.  like baby hasn't pooped today, cause for concern??  baby has a cold, cause for concern??  baby's cord fell off early / mother accidentally pulled it off when changing diaper, cause for concern?? baby spit up, cause for concern?
yes, all googled within the last 24 hours.

what do you watch during the day on tv?  there is nothing on tv.  i am caught up on homeland except this week's episode.  holy cow i'm OBSESSED!! who wants to talk about it?  as a special treat i'm going to watch the last episode today.  like make myself a bowl of ice cream, curl up in my arm chair, dim the lights and watch it! can't wait.  brody and carrie. do we want them to be together?  i hate it, but love it.

isn't this child gorgeous... i'm so in love with her.  so in love!

Bruno... Party of Four!

Ten days ago I gave birth to Ella Nicole Bruno and we became a family of four.

Ella:

Ella is so tiny.  I want to remember how small she is right now...  I also want to remember how she curls up into this little pod in the exact position she was in for nine months.  Fitting inside my belly.  She is easy going.  She sleeps too much (which isn't fun when I'm trying to feed her 8 times a day).  She latches on like a champ.  And she already is extremely patient with us/me.  So far, practically perfect in every way.

Postpartum:

Easier than I could have ever imagined or hoped for.    

This post-partum has been totally different than my first experience.  For one thing, I feel great. With Annie I was sitting on a donut for 2 weeks after delivery.  With Ella, I was feeling fine by day 3.   Also mentally I'm normal.  No crazies so far.  No baby blues.  It is amazing.  I guess just knowing what to expect this go round has really made all the difference.  

Breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding is going great.  It isn't any easier though.   The first days still really suck.  But again, I know what to expect.  The lactation Nazis are still saying things like "well if it hurts you are doing something wrong".  Bull shit.  I'm sorry.  Bull shit.  Can we start a campaign that says breastfeeding hurts at first for some women.  You aren't doing anything wrong.  Just don't give up.  Keep with it for a few more weeks.  It will get better.  I promise.  Jessica's sister-in-law gave me a pep-talk around week 2 when I was about to give up breastfeeding with Annie.  She told me that yes, it hurts like hell at first.  But don't give up.  Yall, if she hadn't have told me that I might not have continued to breastfeed.  I was ready to give up because I thought for sure I was doing something wrong.  But I digress...  Breastfeeding is going grrreat and I am not in any pain anymore. Victory!

Annie:

Big sister, Annie, is ...adjusting...  She is fantastic with Ella.  She wants to help change her diaper,  kiss her, touch her, talk to her and she asks about her when Ella isn't around.  But she is a little more fussy and whiny than usual.  Week 1 was a hot mess.  Meltdowns galore.  This week is 10x better.  I know as the weeks go by and things get back to a new normal she will be 100% A-OK.  What is funny is I think Ella is the easy one to take care of at this point and Annie is more of a challenge. I would have thought the opposite.        

Life:

I would be lying if I said life isn't overwhelming at moments.  I need a schedule.  And we aren't there yet.  But I'm not worried.  I've got 7 more weeks to get this family into a routine.  I can't believe how easy it was to fall in love with this new little person we made.  I can't thank Anthony and my mom enough for making this transition so easy for me.  Next week my mom won't be here and I'll be flying solo.  I'm a little nervous.  I'm having a little anxiety about it.  But I know I will be fine.