Wait Up... Life

Why haven't I written more blogs?  Where do the days go?

Let me say how great I feel.  How lucky and blessed I feel.  How much I'm in love with my family.  I'm completely smitten as I write this and look at Ella in her bouncy seat.  How did I get so lucky?  I can't even believe the love I feel for this new little girl.  Sounds silly, like of course you love your child.  But being a mother of one and then a mother of two, I just didn't know.  Annie is my world.  And I didn't know how I could add another child to that world.  But here I am, with two girls who I'm over the moon for, and thinking how I could ever doubt it.  Anywho....

I love being on maternity leave during the holidays.  It is the most fun.  The house is decorated.  Annie's birthday party  is in the works.  Christmas cheer all around.  

I just drank peppermint hot chocolate (w/ milk)  and watched ep. 9 of homeland.  Who am I?  I don't want to go back to work.  Who am I? 

Does anyone go to bed every night and think ... tomorrow I'm going back on WW and I'm going to work out... ???  Anyone?  I say it to myself every night.  Annnndddd 4 weeks have passed.  Annnndddd still nothing.  

Ok, tomorrow I start!! TOMORROW!

So Ella was sleeping through the night during week 4.  like 7/8/9 hour stretches.  I was slightly concerned.  But jumping for joy on the inside.  WELL... that was a fluke.  She now is back to one middle of the night feeding.  I'm not complaining.  Just saying.

And she only like the big green pacifier that they give you at the hospital.  Everyday I try a new paci just to see if she will bite.  Ha.  So far they all make her gag. 

Now on to Annie's birthday party...

I made the huge mistake of going on pinterest for princess party ideas.  HUGE MISTAKE.  I had it in my head that we are going low-key this year.  Cupcakes, bounce house, party hats, recycled birthday banner.  Well, of course I see ten thousand adorable homemade decorations to make.  And I feel inadequate if I don't do it.  I made a long list of things I want to make.  And if it weren't raining outside I would probably be at hobby lobby and Michael's at this moment.  So we might go big.  We'll see how the first few crafts go.  

((Good grief it is gloom's day outside.  I just looked out the window and it looks like 6pm at night))

I have not bought a single Christmas gift yet.  Except a few things for Annie.  Anyone have any good ideas for my nieces/nephew, in laws, parents, friends, Anthony?  Eek.  It is like I'm out of ideas.  Email me.  Thanks!

Ok, feeding time at the milk factory.  

More tomorrow maybe... it's fun to write down everything I'm thinking.

Flying Solo

day 3 yall.  day 3 flying solo. and i'm good.  i'm really good.

we finally slept last night like a "happiest baby on the block" baby.  sunday night and monday night ella decided she didn't want to sleep.  it wasn't fun.  sleep deprivation and me are not friends.  but yesterday ella found her voice.  and she is not afraid to use it.  she was awake and fussy.  a crying newborn makes me feel so uncomfortable. you know when you don't know what is wrong...  clean diaper - check.  full belly - check.  swaddled, pacifier, swing - check.  and still fussing... oh nooo.  makes you feel sooo uneasy.  i hate that sound.  so anyway, she cried yesterday and then slept all night.   today she is easy and happy again.

even though this is my second go 'round i am still googling at least 4 questions a day about newborns.  ha.  like baby hasn't pooped today, cause for concern??  baby has a cold, cause for concern??  baby's cord fell off early / mother accidentally pulled it off when changing diaper, cause for concern?? baby spit up, cause for concern?
yes, all googled within the last 24 hours.

what do you watch during the day on tv?  there is nothing on tv.  i am caught up on homeland except this week's episode.  holy cow i'm OBSESSED!! who wants to talk about it?  as a special treat i'm going to watch the last episode today.  like make myself a bowl of ice cream, curl up in my arm chair, dim the lights and watch it! can't wait.  brody and carrie. do we want them to be together?  i hate it, but love it.

isn't this child gorgeous... i'm so in love with her.  so in love!

Bruno... Party of Four!

Ten days ago I gave birth to Ella Nicole Bruno and we became a family of four.

Ella:

Ella is so tiny.  I want to remember how small she is right now...  I also want to remember how she curls up into this little pod in the exact position she was in for nine months.  Fitting inside my belly.  She is easy going.  She sleeps too much (which isn't fun when I'm trying to feed her 8 times a day).  She latches on like a champ.  And she already is extremely patient with us/me.  So far, practically perfect in every way.

Postpartum:

Easier than I could have ever imagined or hoped for.    

This post-partum has been totally different than my first experience.  For one thing, I feel great. With Annie I was sitting on a donut for 2 weeks after delivery.  With Ella, I was feeling fine by day 3.   Also mentally I'm normal.  No crazies so far.  No baby blues.  It is amazing.  I guess just knowing what to expect this go round has really made all the difference.  

Breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding is going great.  It isn't any easier though.   The first days still really suck.  But again, I know what to expect.  The lactation Nazis are still saying things like "well if it hurts you are doing something wrong".  Bull shit.  I'm sorry.  Bull shit.  Can we start a campaign that says breastfeeding hurts at first for some women.  You aren't doing anything wrong.  Just don't give up.  Keep with it for a few more weeks.  It will get better.  I promise.  Jessica's sister-in-law gave me a pep-talk around week 2 when I was about to give up breastfeeding with Annie.  She told me that yes, it hurts like hell at first.  But don't give up.  Yall, if she hadn't have told me that I might not have continued to breastfeed.  I was ready to give up because I thought for sure I was doing something wrong.  But I digress...  Breastfeeding is going grrreat and I am not in any pain anymore. Victory!

Annie:

Big sister, Annie, is ...adjusting...  She is fantastic with Ella.  She wants to help change her diaper,  kiss her, touch her, talk to her and she asks about her when Ella isn't around.  But she is a little more fussy and whiny than usual.  Week 1 was a hot mess.  Meltdowns galore.  This week is 10x better.  I know as the weeks go by and things get back to a new normal she will be 100% A-OK.  What is funny is I think Ella is the easy one to take care of at this point and Annie is more of a challenge. I would have thought the opposite.        

Life:

I would be lying if I said life isn't overwhelming at moments.  I need a schedule.  And we aren't there yet.  But I'm not worried.  I've got 7 more weeks to get this family into a routine.  I can't believe how easy it was to fall in love with this new little person we made.  I can't thank Anthony and my mom enough for making this transition so easy for me.  Next week my mom won't be here and I'll be flying solo.  I'm a little nervous.  I'm having a little anxiety about it.  But I know I will be fine. 

2 in a Row ... for AJ

Last night laying bed I have a wave tsunami of anxiety wash over me.  My eyes swell with tears and I say to Anthony... "Babe, I'm nervous about having another baby.  Like I'm really scared.  I think I'm going to throw up."

Anthony looks at me.  His calming presence, jolly smile, twinkling eyes.  He says "Babe, we f*cking rocked this the last time"!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!  Not the response I was expecting.  But altogether perfect. So needless to say I laughed, kissed him and went right to sleep.  

Picture Day

My mom pointed out to me that this is my last month with Annie by herself. Whoa. That stopped me in my tracks. I've been so caught up in all the things I need to do before this baby gets here... I didn't think about that. I am going to cherish this last month with my Annie-Bananie as my only child. All the lovely things about her. I'm not going to wish this month away anymore.

Think of everything I've learned from her. All the silly blogs I've written.  The challenges, the laughs, my goodness. I'm tearing up writing this. Yall, hormones... They are ridiculous. I had an ultrasound last week and cried the entire time. Happy tears. But seriously, the tech must have thought I was nuts. Or maybe she is used to it. But to see Ella's face and her big Bruno nose and lips and cheeks. It still doesn't feel real unless I'm looking at screen. Like there she is... and will be in my arms in 5 weeks.

Ok, back to Annie.

So last Monday I had to go to offsite to a steel fab shop for work. A group of us went and were scheduled to leave the office at 8am. Well I don't usually get to work until around 8:15am. So to be at work 15 mins early is A BIG DEAL for me. I set my alarm 15 mins early... but of course was still rushing.
I pulled Annie out of bed, let her pick out her own outfit and quickly helped her get dressed. Purple skirt, non-matching / non-coordinating pink shirt, rainbow socks and pink shoes. Her hair was out of control that morning. Worst bedhead I have ever seen. Like the kind where you really need to re-wet it because brushing alone does nothing. But, whatever, I had no time for that. Quick front ponytail will have to do and the teachers can judge if they want to. The end. So I skid into the school parking lot. I rushed over to the breakfast room only to come to a dead stop in front of the sign on the door that says "PICTURE DAY! - Monday Sept. 24th".
Oh NO! Annie... your mom clearly can't get it together enough to read the calendar and at least make you look half decent for your school picture day....

Well later that morning I get an email from her school saying that picture day for the early preschool class will be on Tuesday! And just like that, I'm back in the game! The next day Annie was in her favorite dress (purple cupcake dress that looks completely ridiculous with a fall background, but she loves it and I'll take it). She even wore matching socks. Braid in front, smooth hair in back. And I even gave her a peptalk about saying cheese.

So all in all A+ for picture day.

I love you, Annie. And hope you read this one day and laugh at how silly your mother is.

A Nice Pirate or Mean Pirate?

Annie woke up this morning and told me she was a pirate.
I asked her if she was a nice pirate or a mean pirate.
She said "Mean pirate, Aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh"
Who is this child?  Oh that made me laugh.

She wanted pigtails in her hair this morning.  I love little girls in pigtails.  I think it might be the cutest thing ever.
Her imagination is growing.  I overhear her talking to herself when she is playing and the stuff that she says just blows me away.  Like big kid, big imagination, knows what going on in life conversations to herself.
Yall, this growing up thing... it just happens so fast. I know we all say that.  But, wow.  It just feels too soon for her to be a kid already.

Baby Ella is moving and dancing in my belly like she is ready to come out. Anthony asked me last night if I'm sure we got the dates right.  Hahaha.  I sure hope so, because I'm not ready.  I mean, I'm ready.  But my house, work, life aren't ready yet.  Annie kisses my belly and talks to her baby sister.  Does she really get it? I don't think so.  But she pretends she does because she knows it pleases me.
A new baby is coming.  Holy moly. I'm scared and happy and nervous and excited.  My family is growing.  I'm putting another human on this earth.  Wrap your head around the magnitude of that... amazing.

a few sweet ones from our beach trip 

Tootie's in Panties

Today is Annie's first day at school in panties!

I mean, what more is there?  She is practically a grown-up now, right? 

It feels good to put a topic I've been stressing about to rest.  And this has definitely been a topic of internal stress.  But it just happened, just like everyone said it would.

Lessons Learned. Though I'm sure I'll be just as worried when it's time to train No. 2.  

Anyway, nothing more.  Just needed to document this.