ray of sunshine

I'm feeling good.  Like braggy good.  Not that my life has anything extraordinary going on.  (Well, actually it does.)  But just I appreciate my life.  I'm living it and enjoying.  My babies, my hubby, my friends, their babies. The smiles.  The struggles.  Gosh it is overwhelmingly extraordinary. 

I'm pumping more milk than Ella needs each day. That is huge. I couldn't keep up with Annie. Well, I might have if I would have educated myself more on pumping, I think. I'm doing things better with Ella. It's not a burden to pump. It's not a burden to breastfeed. It is a privilege and a pleasure of my life.   Even pumping at work is ok.  It is like a little break where I get to just sit and think.  Or check facebook or play solitaire. 

Ella is a ray of sunshine. She has reached the stage where all she does is smile and babble. You can't help but to smile when you see her. It’s the most fun. If she hears Annie's voice, you can see her eyes searching the room looking for her. And once she sees her, she gets crazy excited. Smiling and kicking her feet. The sisterly love is already present... It's amazing. Oh how I love my girls. 

Annie is growing up too fast. She is so thoughtful. Bossy, but sweet and super smart. She learned how to write her name. Wow! She has a memory like an elephant and will tell you everything she knows about whatever she sees.
Also, I don't know how many times you count before something is official... BUT Annie is pooping in the potty officially (aka 4 times so far). Now I just need to break the nighttime pull-up and we are golden. I don’t know how to do this considering she wakes up with a wet pull-up every morning. I guess just let her wet the bed a few times and she learns? That’s going to be unfun to wake up in the middle of the night and change sheets. I don’t know if I’m ready to commit to that yet. 

Yall know how that child doesn't like to wear anything except pink and purple, right? Well, let me tell you the stunt she pulled on me last week....
In the morning I get Ella ready first and then we go into Annie's room to get her ready. Ella was wearing a green cord tunic with some striped legging. Annie looks at Ella and says “I like Ella’s outfit, Mommy”. I said, “Thanks, Annie. Me too.” So I pick out a few clothes for Annie to wear and start getting her dressed.  She looks down at the pink shirt I just put on her and whines… “I don’t want to wear this shirt. I want a shirt like my sisters!” Really? Really, Annie? You want a green shirt? You have never let me put anything on you except in the colors purple or pink since you were able to say your colors! Now you want a green shirt? Good grief. Anyway, I explained to her that she didn’t have any green shirts in her drawer. And mommy will work on getting some matching shirts for her and her sister.
(side note: I do have lots of matching dresses and bubbles for summertime. So fingers crossed Annie is still wanting to match Ella when the time comes)

a few pics from the weekend....

Annie and Ella's first bath together!  Annie thought this was the MOST FUN! And now ask me every night if Ella can take a bath with her.

Ella meets her boyfriend, Owen.  What a fun playdate.  Grannie-boo came in town last weekend and we went over to visit Jess and Owen.  Turns out Ella and Owen had on matching Gap outfits.  And even though Ella had a little cold we let them snuggle together for a few minutes for this photo op.

Annie and Sissy (the new big sisters).  Who taught them the ole look at each other and laugh trick?  After this picture was taken they ran outside and danced and twirled to the music.  Then both took a bow when the song was finished.  It was adorable.

Ella loving her Grannie-boo.

6 week check-up

so many things have been happening.  i wish i had someone to follow me and document it.  not for blogging, but for my own memory.  i have a really bad memory and it's getting worse!

i go for my six week check-up today.  i can't even believe how fast time has gone.  i have less than 3 weeks until i go back to work.  someone else will be holding my sweet ella all day and that same week annie is moving up to the preschool class where she will potty on her own, start learning spanish, math and reading!

anyone ever put the carseat on the dryer while its running to keep your baby asleep while you blog?  ha!  i just discovered this trick on accident.  don't judge, i've got 15 minutes till feeding.

i'm high on life right now.  can i just spew a few of the highlights?  bare with me.
i have breakfast with jessica once a week and it makes my world right.  right right right. everyone- spend time with your bestie often.  it keeps you sane, in check and loved all at once.
i have no expectations of myself this maternity leave.  i just do what i want.  and don't stress myself if nothing gets done, the house is a wreck, the frig is empty and i'm eating fruit snacks and cocoons all day.  oh well.
my memory is shot to hell.  i forget to put on deodorant like every day.  annie had to remind me to buckle her in yesterday.  did you send me a text or email and i didn't respond?  oh that's because i have already forgotten that you sent it.
ella smiles and coos at me and it makes my heart sing.  she does this all day long. (ps i just checked on her and she is snoozing away on the dryer)
pandora christmas music over the speakers in my house isn't a bad way to enjoy the day.
the bottom drawer of my freezer is full to the top with milk.  HOLLA!  who am i?  a milk pumping machine, that's who!


a few days ago i was driving the girls home after picking up annie from school.  for some reason ella hates this part of the day.  she cries the whole way to pick up annie and then cries the whole way home.  i know annie finds this slightly annoying in that she can't hear her music class/christmas music and the fact that a baby crying is a really uncomfortable sound in general.  so ella is pulling her usual cryfest and i hear annie say "don't cry ella, mommy's going to pick you up when we get home."  yall i got teary-eyed.  sweetness.

that's what it's all about.

sunday morning goodness.  

Wait Up... Life

Why haven't I written more blogs?  Where do the days go?

Let me say how great I feel.  How lucky and blessed I feel.  How much I'm in love with my family.  I'm completely smitten as I write this and look at Ella in her bouncy seat.  How did I get so lucky?  I can't even believe the love I feel for this new little girl.  Sounds silly, like of course you love your child.  But being a mother of one and then a mother of two, I just didn't know.  Annie is my world.  And I didn't know how I could add another child to that world.  But here I am, with two girls who I'm over the moon for, and thinking how I could ever doubt it.  Anywho....

I love being on maternity leave during the holidays.  It is the most fun.  The house is decorated.  Annie's birthday party  is in the works.  Christmas cheer all around.  

I just drank peppermint hot chocolate (w/ milk)  and watched ep. 9 of homeland.  Who am I?  I don't want to go back to work.  Who am I? 

Does anyone go to bed every night and think ... tomorrow I'm going back on WW and I'm going to work out... ???  Anyone?  I say it to myself every night.  Annnndddd 4 weeks have passed.  Annnndddd still nothing.  

Ok, tomorrow I start!! TOMORROW!

So Ella was sleeping through the night during week 4.  like 7/8/9 hour stretches.  I was slightly concerned.  But jumping for joy on the inside.  WELL... that was a fluke.  She now is back to one middle of the night feeding.  I'm not complaining.  Just saying.

And she only like the big green pacifier that they give you at the hospital.  Everyday I try a new paci just to see if she will bite.  Ha.  So far they all make her gag. 

Now on to Annie's birthday party...

I made the huge mistake of going on pinterest for princess party ideas.  HUGE MISTAKE.  I had it in my head that we are going low-key this year.  Cupcakes, bounce house, party hats, recycled birthday banner.  Well, of course I see ten thousand adorable homemade decorations to make.  And I feel inadequate if I don't do it.  I made a long list of things I want to make.  And if it weren't raining outside I would probably be at hobby lobby and Michael's at this moment.  So we might go big.  We'll see how the first few crafts go.  

((Good grief it is gloom's day outside.  I just looked out the window and it looks like 6pm at night))

I have not bought a single Christmas gift yet.  Except a few things for Annie.  Anyone have any good ideas for my nieces/nephew, in laws, parents, friends, Anthony?  Eek.  It is like I'm out of ideas.  Email me.  Thanks!

Ok, feeding time at the milk factory.  

More tomorrow maybe... it's fun to write down everything I'm thinking.

Flying Solo

day 3 yall.  day 3 flying solo. and i'm good.  i'm really good.

we finally slept last night like a "happiest baby on the block" baby.  sunday night and monday night ella decided she didn't want to sleep.  it wasn't fun.  sleep deprivation and me are not friends.  but yesterday ella found her voice.  and she is not afraid to use it.  she was awake and fussy.  a crying newborn makes me feel so uncomfortable. you know when you don't know what is wrong...  clean diaper - check.  full belly - check.  swaddled, pacifier, swing - check.  and still fussing... oh nooo.  makes you feel sooo uneasy.  i hate that sound.  so anyway, she cried yesterday and then slept all night.   today she is easy and happy again.

even though this is my second go 'round i am still googling at least 4 questions a day about newborns.  ha.  like baby hasn't pooped today, cause for concern??  baby has a cold, cause for concern??  baby's cord fell off early / mother accidentally pulled it off when changing diaper, cause for concern?? baby spit up, cause for concern?
yes, all googled within the last 24 hours.

what do you watch during the day on tv?  there is nothing on tv.  i am caught up on homeland except this week's episode.  holy cow i'm OBSESSED!! who wants to talk about it?  as a special treat i'm going to watch the last episode today.  like make myself a bowl of ice cream, curl up in my arm chair, dim the lights and watch it! can't wait.  brody and carrie. do we want them to be together?  i hate it, but love it.

isn't this child gorgeous... i'm so in love with her.  so in love!

Bruno... Party of Four!

Ten days ago I gave birth to Ella Nicole Bruno and we became a family of four.

Ella:

Ella is so tiny.  I want to remember how small she is right now...  I also want to remember how she curls up into this little pod in the exact position she was in for nine months.  Fitting inside my belly.  She is easy going.  She sleeps too much (which isn't fun when I'm trying to feed her 8 times a day).  She latches on like a champ.  And she already is extremely patient with us/me.  So far, practically perfect in every way.

Postpartum:

Easier than I could have ever imagined or hoped for.    

This post-partum has been totally different than my first experience.  For one thing, I feel great. With Annie I was sitting on a donut for 2 weeks after delivery.  With Ella, I was feeling fine by day 3.   Also mentally I'm normal.  No crazies so far.  No baby blues.  It is amazing.  I guess just knowing what to expect this go round has really made all the difference.  

Breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding is going great.  It isn't any easier though.   The first days still really suck.  But again, I know what to expect.  The lactation Nazis are still saying things like "well if it hurts you are doing something wrong".  Bull shit.  I'm sorry.  Bull shit.  Can we start a campaign that says breastfeeding hurts at first for some women.  You aren't doing anything wrong.  Just don't give up.  Keep with it for a few more weeks.  It will get better.  I promise.  Jessica's sister-in-law gave me a pep-talk around week 2 when I was about to give up breastfeeding with Annie.  She told me that yes, it hurts like hell at first.  But don't give up.  Yall, if she hadn't have told me that I might not have continued to breastfeed.  I was ready to give up because I thought for sure I was doing something wrong.  But I digress...  Breastfeeding is going grrreat and I am not in any pain anymore. Victory!

Annie:

Big sister, Annie, is ...adjusting...  She is fantastic with Ella.  She wants to help change her diaper,  kiss her, touch her, talk to her and she asks about her when Ella isn't around.  But she is a little more fussy and whiny than usual.  Week 1 was a hot mess.  Meltdowns galore.  This week is 10x better.  I know as the weeks go by and things get back to a new normal she will be 100% A-OK.  What is funny is I think Ella is the easy one to take care of at this point and Annie is more of a challenge. I would have thought the opposite.        

Life:

I would be lying if I said life isn't overwhelming at moments.  I need a schedule.  And we aren't there yet.  But I'm not worried.  I've got 7 more weeks to get this family into a routine.  I can't believe how easy it was to fall in love with this new little person we made.  I can't thank Anthony and my mom enough for making this transition so easy for me.  Next week my mom won't be here and I'll be flying solo.  I'm a little nervous.  I'm having a little anxiety about it.  But I know I will be fine. 

2 in a Row ... for AJ

Last night laying bed I have a wave tsunami of anxiety wash over me.  My eyes swell with tears and I say to Anthony... "Babe, I'm nervous about having another baby.  Like I'm really scared.  I think I'm going to throw up."

Anthony looks at me.  His calming presence, jolly smile, twinkling eyes.  He says "Babe, we f*cking rocked this the last time"!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!  Not the response I was expecting.  But altogether perfect. So needless to say I laughed, kissed him and went right to sleep.  

Picture Day

My mom pointed out to me that this is my last month with Annie by herself. Whoa. That stopped me in my tracks. I've been so caught up in all the things I need to do before this baby gets here... I didn't think about that. I am going to cherish this last month with my Annie-Bananie as my only child. All the lovely things about her. I'm not going to wish this month away anymore.

Think of everything I've learned from her. All the silly blogs I've written.  The challenges, the laughs, my goodness. I'm tearing up writing this. Yall, hormones... They are ridiculous. I had an ultrasound last week and cried the entire time. Happy tears. But seriously, the tech must have thought I was nuts. Or maybe she is used to it. But to see Ella's face and her big Bruno nose and lips and cheeks. It still doesn't feel real unless I'm looking at screen. Like there she is... and will be in my arms in 5 weeks.

Ok, back to Annie.

So last Monday I had to go to offsite to a steel fab shop for work. A group of us went and were scheduled to leave the office at 8am. Well I don't usually get to work until around 8:15am. So to be at work 15 mins early is A BIG DEAL for me. I set my alarm 15 mins early... but of course was still rushing.
I pulled Annie out of bed, let her pick out her own outfit and quickly helped her get dressed. Purple skirt, non-matching / non-coordinating pink shirt, rainbow socks and pink shoes. Her hair was out of control that morning. Worst bedhead I have ever seen. Like the kind where you really need to re-wet it because brushing alone does nothing. But, whatever, I had no time for that. Quick front ponytail will have to do and the teachers can judge if they want to. The end. So I skid into the school parking lot. I rushed over to the breakfast room only to come to a dead stop in front of the sign on the door that says "PICTURE DAY! - Monday Sept. 24th".
Oh NO! Annie... your mom clearly can't get it together enough to read the calendar and at least make you look half decent for your school picture day....

Well later that morning I get an email from her school saying that picture day for the early preschool class will be on Tuesday! And just like that, I'm back in the game! The next day Annie was in her favorite dress (purple cupcake dress that looks completely ridiculous with a fall background, but she loves it and I'll take it). She even wore matching socks. Braid in front, smooth hair in back. And I even gave her a peptalk about saying cheese.

So all in all A+ for picture day.

I love you, Annie. And hope you read this one day and laugh at how silly your mother is.