this might be "TMI"...

I'm thinking I might be crossing the line on this one. But whatever, I'm just going to put myself out there.  And it was quite funny.


Last night was the first time in my life that I have ever been constipated. I thought I was slightly constipated during my last pregnancy, but clearly I was mistaken. Never in my life, yall. But now I know.

So last night right after I get home from work I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. So I go, and sit there for 10 minutes with NO progress...
I wasn't going to just sit on the toilet all night and there wasn't anything happening down there any time soon. So I just pulled up my pants.

Yall the uncomfortableness! omg. Too much information, I know.

I walk back into the kitchen where Annie and Anthony are eating dinner. I'm slightly hunched over and walking a little funny.

Well Annie picked up on it right away. She looks at me and says "Mommy poo poo in her pants?"
I cracked up!! ((How does she know these things?)) I say "No, honey. Mommy did not poo poo in her pants." ((I wish))

my "thank goodness" moment this morning

it was a typical morning... rushing.
Annie's "need" to do everything by herself has added extra minutes to our morning routine that i haven't accounted for yet in my alarm clock timing.
this morning she was in an extra helpful mood.  she wanted to help me open the blinds so the puppies can look out the windows all day.  she wanted to help me put the puppy gate up.  she wanted to put her diapers in her backpack by herself.
so i was rushing.  trying to propell us out the door.
(side note: did i tell you Annie climbs into the car and her carseat by herself?  super fantastic for when baby no. 2 gets here. bravo my brilliant child.)
so Annie was climbing into her carseat and i see her little bag of fruit loops in the cup holder.  that reminds me.... Annie is on antibiotics twice a day. it has to be taken with food; hence why i have fruit loops for her to munch on on the way to school.  damnation, i forgot to give her her medicine this morning.
so i tell Annie to keep climbing into her carseat and i need to go get her medicine.  i'll be right back.

so i get/give her the medicine, hop in the car, open the garage door, and pull down the driveway all in a fast swoop.

as i'm backing down the driveway i hear Annie say, "mommy, buckle".  "buckle, mommy.".  ... i'm trying to figure out what she is saying then it HITS ME..... I FORGOT TO BUCKLE HER INTO THE CARSEAT!

THANK GOODNESS my child can communicate with me.  i'm sure she was thinking i'm a complete nut job.  but i'm just thankful she knew that it was weird to be in the carseat without being buckled.

i'm losing it.

dilly dallying - and other things

Let me start off by saying I’m in the depths of first trimester blues. I’m tired and not feeling well. Meds are helping... taking the edge off. So blah. Hopefully I will only feel this way for the first trimester, just like I did for my pregnancy with Annie and everything will be wonderful come 4 weeks.

Annie is an angel by any toddler standards. However (big however) I have no patience for her cute antics while I’m not feeling well. So all of the usual things she does that i would typically find completely adorable (and probably would blog about), I find myself reaching within for strength and patience.

During our bedtime routine, for example, Annie likes to dilly dally around. Like a mix of stall tactics and just not a care of anyone's schedule. Does that make sense? She likes to undress herself. It is process. A 5 minute process. And she's cute while doing it. But I just want to bathe her already. Then when bath time is over she likes to flop around like a fish out of water until every last drop of water has been drained out of the tub. Then she likes to read her books to herself instead of letting mommy read them to her. Again all cute things she does on a regular basis that has me throwing a fit internally because I just want her to go to bed (so I can go to bed).

Anyway, that’s what is going on right now. I had my ultrasound on Friday and everything looked great. I definitely think its a boy. I have no idea why. I just looked like a boy when I saw it.

I talked to mom this morning about our Easter plans and what we are going to put in Annie's Easter basket this year. I'm pretty excited! Now what Little Crane dress is she going to wear??????

"you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit"

I saw that quote on Momastery this morning. Can you hear your grandmother saying this to you? I can... Hot summer day in New Orleans, probably coming home from Lafreniere Park, 101 degrees in the back of the car with all of my cousins piled in. All 8 of us splitting 1 coke, complaining that we are thirsty and someone is drinking it all.

I love it.

We took Annie to the rodeo this weekend. And by rodeo I mean carnival and livestock show. I was surprised at how up close and personal you can get with the animals. The petting zoo was cray cray! Nothing at all like the Houston Zoo where it is so regulated. Children, animals, parents, all running amuck in the petting zoo. And they had lamas, goats, pigs, kangeroos. Just crazy. I think Annie was in love/confused by the whole experience. But she loved seeing her friends "Olivia and Laine and Giggy" as she calls that bunch.

The whole Houston rodeo is huge! Yall, what happens when Annie is sixteen and wants to be dropped off there with her friends without a chaperone? I don't know if I can. Just saying...

I've had a hard time finding words for my blog lately. I get that way when I have serious stuff going on in life that just doesn't fit into my happy-go-lucky blog. But I want happy-go-lucky. That is what I love about blogging. (PS. Happy 1 year of blogging to me!) I love going back and reading something from last year and remembering that happy moment. That is what I want.

I go for my first ultrasound this Friday. I can't believe it is already time for that. It's about to get legit up in here. I mean, just saying that is surreal!

Did you know my mom clips articles from the Time Picayune and mails them to me weekly? I get random articles from her with something like "thought of you" scribbled in the margins. I don't tell her enough how much I like it. It is just something she does that I treasure.

And another shout-out to Emily who says the most perfectly worded perfect things and makes life make sense again.  Thanks for your emails this morning!

the stare-down

Annie was laying on the changing table getting a new diaper after bath time.  She pushed the mirror hanging on the wall over the changer.  I asked her to stop because the mirror would fall.

She pushed it again.  

I said "No Annie.  Mommy said don't push mirror."

She looked at me.  Gave me a smirk (at least I think she did).  And pushed the mirror again. 

I said "ANNIE!". And looked at her with my serious, stern face (gig, you know the one...).   She looked back at me. We locked eyes.

It was an official stare-down!  

It was bewildering and annoying and adorable all at the same time.  And then for some reason I started laughing.  And she started laughing.  Just from silence to laughter.  And it was hilarious!  

But I lost the stare-down.   

Go That Way...

When Annie is in the car with us she tells us which way she thinks we should go. She will point and say "go that way".  I love the sureness in her voice.  I love her conviction.  Like not a doubt in her mind where she wants to go.  Something I wish I was better at :)

Anyone read Momastery? I read something on there I while back that I keep thinking about... here it is.

I am sitting in a quiet bedroom with God. We are alone – the two of us. I am perched on the edge of a four poster bed and my legs are dangling off the side. God is in a rocking chair across the room and She’s knitting. God knits, it turns out. She also rides a Harley, but never while knitting.

I am pissed at God, so I’m glaring at her while She rocks and knits.
She won’t ask me what’s wrong. I’m waiting for Her to ask. I’m dying for Her to ask. I sigh. I breathe as deeply and loudly and with as much angst as possible. 

Nothing from Her. Nothing disturbs Her peace, nothing breaks Her concentration. She is not curious. 

So I just start.  Why would you say all of those things about caring for orphans and make me love them so much and then lead me on a seven year wild goose chase and then leave me empty handed? This adoption’s going to fall through, isn’t it? You’re going to leave me empty handed, aren’t you? Aren’t you? I know you are. 

Please don’t. If you do, that’s it for us. I’m not kidding. I’ll quit trying not to be a jerk. I’ll quit writing. I’ll quit talking to you and caring about other people and smiling so much. I’ll spend all my money on fancy make-up and couches and I’ll spend all my time watching Real Housewives of Orange County. No. Housewives of NEW JERSEY. Take that. I’m serious. Friendship with you is too exhausting. I’m going to have to quit you, based on principle and utter confusion. If you don’t pull through for me this time- it’s atheism for me. Atheism. I’m so serious. 

God keeps knitting. Then She smiles and holds Her stitch for a moment. She looks up at me with her soft crinkly eyes and She says:
"Honey. You are so angry. I understand. I love you so much. Would you like me to stop knitting so that we can talk about all of this?” 

I think for a minute and look at the knitting in her lap. I gaze at the part that’s done. It’s breathtaking. All blue and green and hot pink and gold and silver. At first the colors seem to swirl wildly but then, suddenly, I recognize a pattern. The pattern is me. I am beautiful. Swirly, wild, and beautiful. 

No, I Say. Don’t stop. Keep knitting.   

Because She is knitting my life, of course. I am what Her hands are working on. And I want Her to concentrate. I still trust Her. 

God? I say. I’m going to dance. While you knit, I’m just going to dance. I don’t really know what else to do.
And God looks up one last time and I see that Her eyes are twinkling this time.

Powerful stuff.  Happy Tuesday! 

Hello Annie, It's been awhile...

Annie, my love, you are one of a kind. You crack me up daily. I can't believe how sweet and special you are. Did you know that your daddy and I are over the moon for you? I sure hope you know this especially later in life when you might need me to remind you often. You are enough. You are plenty enough. And you make my life so much fun to live.

Lately, my little parrot, you tell me to "be careful" when I'm going up and down the stairs. You say "Annie be careful, too." You also are the best at praising me when I do something great... like pee pee on the toilet, walk down the stairs and change your diaper. You say "good job, mommy! you're awesome".

You are such a smart little cookie. You bring so much fun and laughter to everyone.
You are going to be a great big sister one day. When that time comes, don't worry that you won't get all of our attention always. Just know that you were my first. My first baby. You and me, kid, we have our own special club. We started it the day you were born. Thanks for having patience with me and helping me learn.
You are my girl, little rootie tootie.